Cross-Cultural Small Talk for Programmers: Coconut VS Peach Culture

"&lt;p&gt;Having small talk with someone from your country, with whom you share the same values is, often, easy, and runs smoothly. However, as a programmer, the probability of meeting other programmers and business people from other countries is almost 100%.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Meeting people from countries other than yours can be during conferences as there are hundreds of Conferences for programming and&amp;nbsp;software development held across the globe, some are online, others are face-to-face.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;As for working in another country, you must be aware of this cross-cultural difference so that you handle your small talk like a pro!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Each culture has its communication style. One of the most famous cultures when it comes to small talk are the&amp;nbsp;&lt;strong&gt;Coconut and Peach&amp;nbsp;&lt;/strong&gt;cultures. What are they? and what are their characteristics?&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;When speaking about these two, there is an analogy that comes to mind almost instantly, which is that of&amp;nbsp;introverts&amp;nbsp;and&amp;nbsp;extroverts. Here&amp;#39;s why:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h1&gt;Coconut Culture&lt;/h1&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; src=&quot;https://i.postimg.cc/LsrYZSLD/coconut-culture.png&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;As its name might imply, &amp;quot;coconuts&amp;quot; are very formal, especially at the first meeting. They seem serious, and quite reserved. Some of them reject the idea of small talk and prefer to get to the point, considering small talk as a waste of time. Moreover, they are known for their narrow public space, that is why they&amp;#39;re hard to know at the beginning: they don&amp;#39;t exchange personal information with strangers, so you won&amp;#39;t hear them speaking about their families or hobbies when you first meet them.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;However, once they get to know you, and start trusting you, the coconut will be cracked, and they will be completely open with you. Coconuts are, most of the time, introverts.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;How to Deal with a Coconut?&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;Patience: as explained, coconuts won&amp;#39;t open up easily, and you have to accept that and be patient. Thus, do not try to rush the process, by asking too many questions, for example, coconuts will only open up to you once they have trusted you.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Think before you speak: when it comes to words, coconuts are very high-context, they will analyze each and every word you say and each gesture you make, as they&amp;#39;re trying to &amp;quot;figure you out&amp;quot;, and decide whether you are worthy of their trust. That is why you should be careful asking questions, make sure you&amp;#39;re not invading their personal space, and listen carefully to what others are asking them to know what topics are ok to discuss with them.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Opening Up: even if you feel that a coconut is starting to trust you, after a few meetings, you should not jump to personal questions until they do so.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Examples:&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;France&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Germany&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Switzerland&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Russia&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; &lt;p&gt;One scene that portrays the coconut culture in France is that of Emily (a peach), in Emily in Paris, meeting her French boss (a coconut) for the first time (episode1).&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h1&gt;Peach Culture&lt;/h1&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; src=&quot;https://i.postimg.cc/rpWy3rRG/peach-culture.png&quot; /&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Peaches, on the other hand, are the complete opposite of coconuts: they are sociable, friendly, and generally pleasant to talk to, they like to share personal space so they find it normal to mention how many kids they have in your first meeting. Arabs for instance will spend more than 15 minutes asking and talking about family and hobbies, which they find quite common.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Peaches are very easy to get to know, and they are keen on small talk. They are usually extroverts.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;How to Deal with a Peach?&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;Friendliness is standard: peaches are normally very friendly, so their enthusiasm and smile are a way of welcoming you and making you feel comfortable talking to them.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Small Talk: peaches love small talk, so do not avoid it when dealing with them.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Questions: Peaches ask you questions, and they expect you to answer them and ask them back. Do not be intimidated, they welcome questions.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Examples:&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;USA&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Japan&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Brazil&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Middle East&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; &lt;h1&gt;How Do Coconuts and Peaches Perceive One Another?&lt;/h1&gt; &lt;table border=&quot;1&quot; cellpadding=&quot;1&quot; cellspacing=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;width:600px&quot;&gt; &lt;tbody&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; How Peaches See Coconuts&amp;nbsp;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/td&gt; &lt;td&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;How CoconutsSee Peaches &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td&gt;Cold&lt;/td&gt; &lt;td&gt;Talkative&lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td&gt;Difficult to get to know&lt;/td&gt; &lt;td&gt;Too friendly&lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td&gt;Hostile&lt;/td&gt; &lt;td&gt;Impolite (for asking personal questions)&lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td&gt;Arrogant&lt;/td&gt; &lt;td&gt;Superficial&lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/tbody&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;h1&gt;Conclusion&lt;/h1&gt; &lt;p&gt;In order to have successful cross-cultural small talk, you must be aware that there is no universal way of talking, and that each culture has its unique communication style. Knowing these cultures is not enough, as you should be able to know which culture you are facing, and adapt your communication style according to that.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;"

Cross-Cultural Small Talk for Programmers: Coconut VS Peach Culture

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